Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Some Thoughts On The Mom Life
Being a mom is no joke! You're probably thinking, "duh Ann!" Before I became a mom, I used to think that I understood the mom life. I totally understood why my friends with kids were suddenly so busy, but deep down I'm sure that I was frustrated a little bit. Then, I became a mom and not just any mom, but a single mom. Don't get me wrong, I chose this life. Many did not, so don't feel too bad for me. I then understood why my friends with kids were always so busy. Since I got a phone call asking me to take two little girls, I had little or no time to prepare. I went from the single, "care-free" life to...how do I put them to bed at the same time? How do I handle bath time? How do I feed both at the same time when one is on a bottle and one is not? Diaper changes? Dinner? What's that? How did I get them both to the car? How do we go out in public? What...the 16 month old has lice? I'm exhausted just thinking about that first year! Most of it is a big blur. How did I even make it through that year?
God. He carried me. That is the ONLY answer. He also sent me a tribe. He sent me a tribe of people that descended on my home that very first night that the girls came to me. They brought tons of supplies, advice and help. They brought car seats and a stroller. Those first few months that I had the girls, my body was adjusting to being around babies. I was sick a bunch and some nights could not even function. Two past students drove the then 20-30 minute drive to my place to put the girls to bed for me so that I could get some sleep. I was carried through that first year.
Every year has gotten a little easier as I said goodbye to bottles and diapers and high chairs. I've also said hello and embraced the "you can set the table, clear the dishes, help take out the trash, fold your laundry, be mommy's special helper" season. 😃 We've also had the season of not understanding what was going on with my child to finally understanding and learning that she has ADHD. I've had to learn how to handle that and to really learn and understand what makes my child tick. Every day I feel like I'm learning. Just tonight I gained so much insight on parenting from one of my parents at school. You guys are a wealth of knowledge for me and I plan on soaking in every bit!!
Who is your tribe? Are they other moms with kids in the same life stage as your kids? Do you have any mentor moms? These are moms who have been there already. Does your tribe encourage you to be the best you and even hold you accountable? Are they heading in the same direction as you? Do you have a common belief system? We all come from different backgrounds. We all have our pasts. I've learned that you can't go through this journey alone. Well, you can but it's so much harder that way. Find your tribe. That may take you stepping out of your comfort zone and reaching out. We aren't meant to walk through this life alone. My friend Jennifer and one of her friends just recently started a podcast on this very topic.
One day this past January I remember feeling very overwhelmed and tired. I was over having to cook for others. Anyone else? I had shared that with a group of friends. The next thing I knew, one of my friends brought the girls and I dinner. She just wanted to bless us. I know that this season will pass and that I will be able to pass on that blessing someday when I am not so deep in the trenches of life. Life has its seasons. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad because you are going through a season and you can't be there for them like they would want you to. I'm telling you...this mom life is no joke. Focus on being the best version of you that you can be. I didn't say perfect. No one is perfect. Well, except Jesus. Embrace your good and bad. Hug your kids, offer grace to yourself and to your kids. Apologize to your kids and teach them that we don't have it all together. During those dark moments or seasons, reach out to others. Let your tribe carry you if needed. Let Jesus carry you. You've got this sister! You are amazing and you will make it through this season. You are so loved!
Until Next Time...Hugs!